Everyone has good days and bad days, right? Right.
John and Hank and the other leaders of nerdfighteria have taught us that it is possible (and that we should) find the awesome in each and every day. Because every day that we are alive is awesome. Yet, some days are less awesome than other days. And some days are just truly made of awesome.
Last Thursday was truly made of awesome.
Now, I was expecting it to be a good day because I had a lunch date with a cute boy. But as each minute passed, it became more and more awesome.
I woke up at 8ish, planning to go to yoga at 9. Normally, I just SAY I'm going to do this and don't. Then, as I entered consciousness, I wanted to get up and go to yoga. I loved yoga. and I was paying $100 this month to go. I was going.
It is a miracle to get me up before 9. Not only was I up, my bed was made and I was dressed. I was off to yoga by 9:05 and had a great class! I held both tree pose sets and started to transition into the next step in the tree pose [which is folding over and sitting in it one-legged. I began to fold over]. Good class! Yay!
Now I knew I would only have an hour and a half to shower, change, blow dry my hair and do other random things (like put my dirty laundry in the basement). Somehow, I did all this and was still TEN MINUTES early. This never happens. Well, in those ten minutes I was waiting for Cute Boy to show up, I checked my phone.
I had a text from my long-term best friend who shares my book loving obsession among other obsessions. Well, she found out that JOHN GREEN was going to not only BE at BEA, but be speaking at the CHILDREN'S BREAKFAST WITH LOIS LOWRY.
Let the Happy Dancing begin!
I then hit my twitter app to tweet this. How could I not? I tweeted it and began to read some of the most recent tweets, once of which was Alex Carpenter saying he was going to be writing a song about JKR's new book.
WHAT? JKR? NEW BOOK?
WHAT?!
Now I'm freaking out. I confirm that yes, JKR is writing a new book, but it will be entirely different from the Harry Potter series. WHO THE HELL CARES. I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS SINCE 2007!
Hyperventalation begins.
On that note, Cute Boy pulls up to my house. Perfect. He's going to think I'm a freak.
Well, I calm down enough to go see him and we go out to lunch. Which was yummy. I am excluding all other details. Except that I smiled a lot for the rest of the day due to the event of lunch.
After lunch, we hung out a bit, but then Cute Boy went home to do work. Sadd. But still. I now had enough time to chill before work. So I watched Downton Abbey because John Green said so.
Oh, my life.
Then work was quiet, I was with a few favourite coworkers, I got to be in fitting room, which I love and got let out early. GOOD NIGHT.
Oh, and I got tacos for dinner. 'Nuff said.
Then I came home and watched more Downton Abbey and texted with Cute Boy and am now thoroughly obsessed with Downton Abbey. I've been watching it all weekend. Amazingness. But who doubts John Green?
There are very few days that just leave me in a bundle of joy. It felt SO GOOD to just have a made-of-awesome day when I haven't had a made-of-awesome day since early December. And even before that, I can't remember when a day was so awesome from morning to sleep.
Today is made of awesome because I put french vanilla creamer in my earl grey tea and it was YUMMY.
Monday, February 27, 2012
Friday, February 10, 2012
Today Should Have Been Our Anniversary: A Lesson on Heartache and Friendship
Best friends.
They come and go. If you're lucky, it will happen naturally. People grow and change and their friends change, too.
Sometimes, drama happens and you will get into a major fight and will lose your best friend.
I wish this on no one. Not only has this happened to me once, but multiple times in my life. NORMALLY, I would outline and detail them, but for now, I will just outline the year they occurred. 'Cause I'm classy like that.
1. November 2002. Eighth grade. Thought my friends were... my friends. They weren't.
2. Summer 2006. Summer before Senior year. People change.
3. December 2008. Sophomore year of undergrad. My friend thought she was my friend. She wasn't.
4. Summer 2010. Summer after Junior year of undergrad/England. I changed.
5. September 2011. Super Senior year of undergrad. They lied.
6. February 2012. Super Senior year of undergrad. I wish I knew - I don't even think he knows.
There is something about losing a best friend that... rips your heart apart. You're used to seeing them everyday, talking to them everyday, being supported by them and supporting them. When this person who is in your life at such a constant presence and then you lose them... it's heartbreaking. More heartbreaking than anything I have ever felt during an actual heartbreak.
I have love and lost. Twice.
Make that three.
Loving someone and then experiencing heartache is horrible. But it happens. And it makes you stronger. The first two instances molded me into who I am. They inspired great stories. They were both brilliant boys. The first was more brilliant than the second, actually. The second was kind of a jerk.
Never before have I loved my best friend. That was a new experienced for me. Or... love? The feeling is present tense [because you just can't stop loving someone overnight], but the friendship is not.
This loss is almost like death. It's hitting me that hard. And if you are ever to experience it, it will hit you hard, too.
I truly, truly believe that love is the greatest and most powerful emotion in the world.
And love, well, I got it.
Girls, [and guys], when heartache happens, no matter what form, remember who you are. Remember how you feel about that person and let it strengthen you, not hinder you. Don't have heart break, as much as it will feel like it. Keep your heart whole and your mind sane.
If your heart breaks, they win.
Don't let them win.
And don't forget to smile. =D
They come and go. If you're lucky, it will happen naturally. People grow and change and their friends change, too.
Sometimes, drama happens and you will get into a major fight and will lose your best friend.
I wish this on no one. Not only has this happened to me once, but multiple times in my life. NORMALLY, I would outline and detail them, but for now, I will just outline the year they occurred. 'Cause I'm classy like that.
1. November 2002. Eighth grade. Thought my friends were... my friends. They weren't.
2. Summer 2006. Summer before Senior year. People change.
3. December 2008. Sophomore year of undergrad. My friend thought she was my friend. She wasn't.
4. Summer 2010. Summer after Junior year of undergrad/England. I changed.
5. September 2011. Super Senior year of undergrad. They lied.
6. February 2012. Super Senior year of undergrad. I wish I knew - I don't even think he knows.
There is something about losing a best friend that... rips your heart apart. You're used to seeing them everyday, talking to them everyday, being supported by them and supporting them. When this person who is in your life at such a constant presence and then you lose them... it's heartbreaking. More heartbreaking than anything I have ever felt during an actual heartbreak.
I have love and lost. Twice.
Make that three.
Loving someone and then experiencing heartache is horrible. But it happens. And it makes you stronger. The first two instances molded me into who I am. They inspired great stories. They were both brilliant boys. The first was more brilliant than the second, actually. The second was kind of a jerk.
Never before have I loved my best friend. That was a new experienced for me. Or... love? The feeling is present tense [because you just can't stop loving someone overnight], but the friendship is not.
This loss is almost like death. It's hitting me that hard. And if you are ever to experience it, it will hit you hard, too.
I truly, truly believe that love is the greatest and most powerful emotion in the world.
And love, well, I got it.
Girls, [and guys], when heartache happens, no matter what form, remember who you are. Remember how you feel about that person and let it strengthen you, not hinder you. Don't have heart break, as much as it will feel like it. Keep your heart whole and your mind sane.
If your heart breaks, they win.
Don't let them win.
And don't forget to smile. =D
Monday, January 2, 2012
My Top 10 Books of 2011 [or Something Like That]
I have never done a Top Books list before.
ALAS ALAK: I am now. I actually read some books that came out this year, so I can contribute. Unfortunately, most of the books I read did NOT come out this year.
Still, I loved these books and I want to highlight them. My blog, my rules.
In no particular order:
1. Ten Things I Did [and Probably Shouldn't Have] by Sarah Mlynowski
I kinda loved this book. It was such an easy read and not a sappy love story, though there is a love story in it. I was still in my "Kelly Doesn't Want or Need a Man" phase of 2011 when I read it and it was perfect. I loved the little love story without being overwhelmed by it. You can read my review HERE. =D
2. The Future of Us by Jay Asher and Carolyn Mackler
Word cannot describe my love for this book. I read it in three days. I could not put it down. It was wonderful and you all NEED to read it. Such an easy read. Jay Asher has a way with words and I will forever read his books. I've never really been a fan of Carolyn Mackler, though. In fact, as you'll see once my review is posted, I became annoyed with Emma quite frequently. Josh is too amazing to not love, though.
3. The Secret Sisterhood of Heartbreakers by Lynn Weingarten
I feel like my whole of 2011 was waiting on this book and I'm happy to have read and review it before the year was over. Lynn is an amazing writer and I loved how this book healed my broken heart and taught me a thing or two about love.
4. Sean Griswold's Head by Lindsey Leavitt
I can't believe I almost forgot about this book. Technically I read it in 2010, but it was a 2011 release. And it was SO GOOD. I felt 16 again reading this book. No review on this one, but it does not doubt my love. Reading SGH was like reading my first Sarah Dessen book. It has such a young heart with great writing. After not reading much YA lit while I was abroad, it was one of the first ones I read when I came back and it made me fall in love with YA all over again.
5. The Name of the Star by Maureen Johnson
This book is on a lot of people's top 10. And it's written by Maureen Johnson. No explination needed.
Unfortunately, I think these five were the only "Out in 2011" books that I read! But I have five more of books out in 2011 that I WISH I had read.
6. The Last Little Blue Envelope by Maureen Johnson
Reading this as soon as possible. I loved 13 Little Blue Envelopes more than you can even imagine. Travel plus love plus London plus Maureen Johnson plus crazy aunt writing letters from beyond the grave?! I've wanted to know what that last envelope has said for AGES.
7. The Unwanted by Lisa McMann
Harry Potter plus Hunger Games? Oh, yeah. I've been on this ride since BEA.
8. [The] Carrier of the Mark by Leah Fallon
Ginger girl in Ireland who has magic powers. Enough said. This book was a BEA hit! I can't believe it took me this long to get my hands on it.
9. What Happened to Goodbye by Sarah Dessen
This woman is cranking out books faster than I can read them. Meeting her at BEA was a pleasure. So sweet and so nice. Reading her books inspired many of my first manuscript ideas. When I finally publish a book, her name will be in the acknowledgements. She's inspired me so much over the past ten years and I know she'll continue to inspire me for the next ten [and more].
AND FINALLY: The book I FINALLY read in 2011 that was not published in 2011:
10. THE HUNGER GAMES! [and Catching Fire and Mockingjay]
Reading this book took a lot of TIME. After the huge dissapointment that was Twilight, I didn't want to be let down again. Boy was I WRONG. And actually, I didn't like The Hunger Games. Just like The Giver, I was repulsed by the idea of making these kids fight for their lives while The Capitol lapped it up. I fell in love with this series while reading Catching Fire. Katniss is a great female character and I am just like her: a true rebel. Hence me putting off reading this book for as long as I did.
This year I hope to read more 2012 books IN 2012, especially since I am signed up to a reading challenge! I am getting my Nook SOON, which means cheaper books for Kelly. I wish I could say I want to read 100 books this year, but that will not happen. I can't even say I'll read 50, but I am going to try to read 25, and then push for 50. I also want to go back and read books that I haven't read in a REALLY long time. Unfortunately, my TBR bookshelf needs to be cleaned off before BEA 2012, so here's to another year of reading new books, not rereading old lovers.
Countdown to BEA 2012: 154 days!
ALAS ALAK: I am now. I actually read some books that came out this year, so I can contribute. Unfortunately, most of the books I read did NOT come out this year.
Still, I loved these books and I want to highlight them. My blog, my rules.
In no particular order:
1. Ten Things I Did [and Probably Shouldn't Have] by Sarah Mlynowski
I kinda loved this book. It was such an easy read and not a sappy love story, though there is a love story in it. I was still in my "Kelly Doesn't Want or Need a Man" phase of 2011 when I read it and it was perfect. I loved the little love story without being overwhelmed by it. You can read my review HERE. =D
2. The Future of Us by Jay Asher and Carolyn Mackler
Word cannot describe my love for this book. I read it in three days. I could not put it down. It was wonderful and you all NEED to read it. Such an easy read. Jay Asher has a way with words and I will forever read his books. I've never really been a fan of Carolyn Mackler, though. In fact, as you'll see once my review is posted, I became annoyed with Emma quite frequently. Josh is too amazing to not love, though.
3. The Secret Sisterhood of Heartbreakers by Lynn Weingarten
I feel like my whole of 2011 was waiting on this book and I'm happy to have read and review it before the year was over. Lynn is an amazing writer and I loved how this book healed my broken heart and taught me a thing or two about love.
4. Sean Griswold's Head by Lindsey Leavitt
I can't believe I almost forgot about this book. Technically I read it in 2010, but it was a 2011 release. And it was SO GOOD. I felt 16 again reading this book. No review on this one, but it does not doubt my love. Reading SGH was like reading my first Sarah Dessen book. It has such a young heart with great writing. After not reading much YA lit while I was abroad, it was one of the first ones I read when I came back and it made me fall in love with YA all over again.
5. The Name of the Star by Maureen Johnson
This book is on a lot of people's top 10. And it's written by Maureen Johnson. No explination needed.
Unfortunately, I think these five were the only "Out in 2011" books that I read! But I have five more of books out in 2011 that I WISH I had read.
6. The Last Little Blue Envelope by Maureen Johnson
Reading this as soon as possible. I loved 13 Little Blue Envelopes more than you can even imagine. Travel plus love plus London plus Maureen Johnson plus crazy aunt writing letters from beyond the grave?! I've wanted to know what that last envelope has said for AGES.
7. The Unwanted by Lisa McMann
Harry Potter plus Hunger Games? Oh, yeah. I've been on this ride since BEA.
8. [The] Carrier of the Mark by Leah Fallon
Ginger girl in Ireland who has magic powers. Enough said. This book was a BEA hit! I can't believe it took me this long to get my hands on it.
9. What Happened to Goodbye by Sarah Dessen
This woman is cranking out books faster than I can read them. Meeting her at BEA was a pleasure. So sweet and so nice. Reading her books inspired many of my first manuscript ideas. When I finally publish a book, her name will be in the acknowledgements. She's inspired me so much over the past ten years and I know she'll continue to inspire me for the next ten [and more].
AND FINALLY: The book I FINALLY read in 2011 that was not published in 2011:
10. THE HUNGER GAMES! [and Catching Fire and Mockingjay]
Reading this book took a lot of TIME. After the huge dissapointment that was Twilight, I didn't want to be let down again. Boy was I WRONG. And actually, I didn't like The Hunger Games. Just like The Giver, I was repulsed by the idea of making these kids fight for their lives while The Capitol lapped it up. I fell in love with this series while reading Catching Fire. Katniss is a great female character and I am just like her: a true rebel. Hence me putting off reading this book for as long as I did.
This year I hope to read more 2012 books IN 2012, especially since I am signed up to a reading challenge! I am getting my Nook SOON, which means cheaper books for Kelly. I wish I could say I want to read 100 books this year, but that will not happen. I can't even say I'll read 50, but I am going to try to read 25, and then push for 50. I also want to go back and read books that I haven't read in a REALLY long time. Unfortunately, my TBR bookshelf needs to be cleaned off before BEA 2012, so here's to another year of reading new books, not rereading old lovers.
Countdown to BEA 2012: 154 days!
Monday, December 12, 2011
Life and Love: A December 2011 Update
For the past six months, I have not been the person I want to be. I have let guys control my happiness. I have let boys into my heart and my head, losing focus on even the simplest of tasks. I have only been truly happy when everything is good with my love life.
This ends today.
This is not who I am or who I want to be.
This is not who I want to be for my Little.
She has been a huge inspiration for me the past month. She is strong and brave and I commend her for everything that she is doing at the moment. I don't have half her bravery.
I guess it all started with my summer "romance." It derailed me. Weeks prior, I had decided that marriage was not for me and I was fine with that. Now it's December and I have half a wedding planned and heartache because Favourite was typical Favourite and lied. Withholding the truth is still a lie, Luke. Deal with it.
I jumped from one crush to the next,* depending on them for my confidence and my happiness. No more. I do not need a guy.
Wanting someone by your side is different than needing someone by your side. I do not need. I mearly want.
That want ends today.
I am going back to who I was in June. I am Kelly. I am independent. I am Hufflepuff. I am Amy Pond.
Okay, yes, Amy Pond has Rory and the Doctor, but who says that Rory and the Doctor have to male? I have my twins. I have my little. I have my WGCC, which I could not be more thankful for.
Most importantly, I have me. As long as I can wake up in the morning and say that I want to live today, I will be fine.
I woke up this morning and wanted to overdose.
That thought ends today.
Theoretically. I realize that I will have some depression and suicide thoughts until the new year. Heartache triggers it. This time of the year triggers it. Stress and worry triggers it.
Most of the time, my suicidal thoughts scare me. I know that I am still healthy because they scare me and that's good. I don't want to die. When I woke up this morning and realized I would not make it through the day without some tylenol, I didn't get scared. They were my "happy pills" for so long. Then the thoughts came. How many could I take and not pass out? 4? 6? How many would I take? Would I be able to stop myself? Did I want to stop myself?
No, I did not. I could have swallowed my whole bottle this morning. And then reached for another one. This is why I do not buy more than one bottle at a time. It keeps me from actually being able to do this.
If I was actually going to do it, I would not be telling you this. This is a part of me and sharing it is my therapy. If you know about it, you can stop me. I am loved. I have friends. I'm just tired of them living so far away.
I got way too much hope over the summer. English Kelly peaked out bit by bit and finally came out. Well, girl, you're in America. You're not in England. You are just as beautiful and smart and funny as you were over there, if not more so. You will succeed.
But you will succeed alone.**
*I can honestly say that I had feelings for each of these guys.
**To my beautiful friends, from Oz to California to the midwest to England, I love you. But sometimes, a girl needs more than a friend. Sometimes, a girl needs a guy to hold her hand and know that no matter what happens, he'll be there.
This ends today.
This is not who I am or who I want to be.
This is not who I want to be for my Little.
She has been a huge inspiration for me the past month. She is strong and brave and I commend her for everything that she is doing at the moment. I don't have half her bravery.
I guess it all started with my summer "romance." It derailed me. Weeks prior, I had decided that marriage was not for me and I was fine with that. Now it's December and I have half a wedding planned and heartache because Favourite was typical Favourite and lied. Withholding the truth is still a lie, Luke. Deal with it.
I jumped from one crush to the next,* depending on them for my confidence and my happiness. No more. I do not need a guy.
Wanting someone by your side is different than needing someone by your side. I do not need. I mearly want.
That want ends today.
I am going back to who I was in June. I am Kelly. I am independent. I am Hufflepuff. I am Amy Pond.
Okay, yes, Amy Pond has Rory and the Doctor, but who says that Rory and the Doctor have to male? I have my twins. I have my little. I have my WGCC, which I could not be more thankful for.
Most importantly, I have me. As long as I can wake up in the morning and say that I want to live today, I will be fine.
I woke up this morning and wanted to overdose.
That thought ends today.
Theoretically. I realize that I will have some depression and suicide thoughts until the new year. Heartache triggers it. This time of the year triggers it. Stress and worry triggers it.
Most of the time, my suicidal thoughts scare me. I know that I am still healthy because they scare me and that's good. I don't want to die. When I woke up this morning and realized I would not make it through the day without some tylenol, I didn't get scared. They were my "happy pills" for so long. Then the thoughts came. How many could I take and not pass out? 4? 6? How many would I take? Would I be able to stop myself? Did I want to stop myself?
No, I did not. I could have swallowed my whole bottle this morning. And then reached for another one. This is why I do not buy more than one bottle at a time. It keeps me from actually being able to do this.
If I was actually going to do it, I would not be telling you this. This is a part of me and sharing it is my therapy. If you know about it, you can stop me. I am loved. I have friends. I'm just tired of them living so far away.
I got way too much hope over the summer. English Kelly peaked out bit by bit and finally came out. Well, girl, you're in America. You're not in England. You are just as beautiful and smart and funny as you were over there, if not more so. You will succeed.
But you will succeed alone.**
*I can honestly say that I had feelings for each of these guys.
**To my beautiful friends, from Oz to California to the midwest to England, I love you. But sometimes, a girl needs more than a friend. Sometimes, a girl needs a guy to hold her hand and know that no matter what happens, he'll be there.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
REVIEW TIME!: Dunkin' Donuts's New Apple Cider
I hate fall.
Seriously.
But I do look forward to one thing when fall comes: hot apple cider.
You can pretty much only get the good stuff from family farms when your family goes apple/pumpkin picking. I looked forward to this day every single year. I hated apple picking, but it was all okay when i got that hot apple cider in my hand.
So when Dunkin Donuts started advertising that they had a new apple cider, offered hot and iced, I was worried.
I shouldn't have been though. Dunkin makes some of the best coffee. Dunkin makes my other beloved fall treat: the pumpkin muffin. Dunkin makes bagel twists [to which ONLY the cinnamon raisin should be bought and consumed].
Yet again, Dunkin has made a lot of errors, too. Cheese bagel twists? No. Just... no. And their bagels? No. Again, just... no.
But I had to try it. I had to. As a frequent Dunkin customer and lover of apple cider, I had to.
Yesterday was very warm for the end of September. I didn't feel like something hot. Okay. I'll do it. I'll try the iced apple cider. Which should be just apple juice, no?
NO. It was not just apple juice, it was apple cider, but COLD. I can't explain it. I took the first sip and I felt warm all over, yet my drink was cold. It had all the right spices and flavor that I love in apple cider. As I continued to drink it, it just got better. The ice was melting in my apple cider, diluting the initial sweetness to perfection.
I HIGHLY recommend trying out this drink. HIGHLY. It's great for that warm fall day.
And as for the hot? Well, I made the mistake of going into a Dunkin that kind of sucks. In result, my hot apple cider also kind of sucks. But I have faith. I plan to buy it again one fall morning with my pumpkin muffin at MY Dunkin and thoroughly enjoy it.
I don't know how to make apple cider, so all the flavours are a mystery to me. I taste that fantastic homemade apple cider taste, though. It tastes naturally sweetened, not artificially. The cinnimon and nutmeg is subtle, but there. It's a great drink, and if you enjoy apple cider, you'll enjoy Dunkin's version.
Seriously.
But I do look forward to one thing when fall comes: hot apple cider.
You can pretty much only get the good stuff from family farms when your family goes apple/pumpkin picking. I looked forward to this day every single year. I hated apple picking, but it was all okay when i got that hot apple cider in my hand.
So when Dunkin Donuts started advertising that they had a new apple cider, offered hot and iced, I was worried.
I shouldn't have been though. Dunkin makes some of the best coffee. Dunkin makes my other beloved fall treat: the pumpkin muffin. Dunkin makes bagel twists [to which ONLY the cinnamon raisin should be bought and consumed].
Yet again, Dunkin has made a lot of errors, too. Cheese bagel twists? No. Just... no. And their bagels? No. Again, just... no.
But I had to try it. I had to. As a frequent Dunkin customer and lover of apple cider, I had to.
Yesterday was very warm for the end of September. I didn't feel like something hot. Okay. I'll do it. I'll try the iced apple cider. Which should be just apple juice, no?
NO. It was not just apple juice, it was apple cider, but COLD. I can't explain it. I took the first sip and I felt warm all over, yet my drink was cold. It had all the right spices and flavor that I love in apple cider. As I continued to drink it, it just got better. The ice was melting in my apple cider, diluting the initial sweetness to perfection.
I HIGHLY recommend trying out this drink. HIGHLY. It's great for that warm fall day.
And as for the hot? Well, I made the mistake of going into a Dunkin that kind of sucks. In result, my hot apple cider also kind of sucks. But I have faith. I plan to buy it again one fall morning with my pumpkin muffin at MY Dunkin and thoroughly enjoy it.
I don't know how to make apple cider, so all the flavours are a mystery to me. I taste that fantastic homemade apple cider taste, though. It tastes naturally sweetened, not artificially. The cinnimon and nutmeg is subtle, but there. It's a great drink, and if you enjoy apple cider, you'll enjoy Dunkin's version.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Ten Years Later... and I Still Cry
Ten years ago today, I sat confused.
Ten years ago today, I sat scared.
Ten years later, and I still remember everything. I remember hearing the news anchor yelling that the first tower was falling. I remember my teacher hiding her tears, because she feared for her son's life. I remember being scared that I may never see my father again.
But I did. No one I personally knew died that day. My sister's friend had a volleyball game and begged her dad to take off of work and watch. He lived. My cousin's uncle was away on a last-minute business trip, he lived. My teacher's son had time for a coffee, and so he lived.
To everyone who reads this blog and did not live in the tri-state area that day: you have no idea what it was like for us.
Many of my English friends/acquaintances asked me to re-live that day because they were curious. I cried every time I told my story.
My father took us to see the smoke that night. I could not believe. That smoke lasted for days, maybe even a few weeks, I can't remember anymore. I have only been to the area once, last summer. And I cried.
I have no idea how to convey how SCARED I was that day. That is what makes me cry. What continues to make me cry is the men and women who died, the children who will never meet their fathers, and the soldiers who are so brave to fight for my life and freedom.
One thing that PISSES ME OFF is that people who weren't here on that day, try to say they were equally effected. News flash: you weren't. You may have been scared for our nation, for the terrorism that was so real, but you don't know how it felt that day to worry about so many mother's and father's lives. I live very close to NYC. Commuter close. Many of my friends, including my father, commute into NYC on a daily basis. More than half of my classmates were worrying about their parents. Even if we knew they didn't work in those buildings, we didn't know where they were. Cell phones weren't that big in 2001. My father had one, but cell phones were not working that day.
So please, remember 9/11 for what it was and how it shaped not only our nation, but the world, remember those who died in the planes and in the towers, remember those who died trying to save lives, remember the soldiers who fought for us, remember the soldiers who found and killed Osama Bin Laden, remember the children who grew up without a father or mother, remember that everyone's experience of that day is different and yours is just as unique as mine. Don't exploit it.
And please, remember that this was MY city being attacked. I live 20 miles away from the World Trade Center site. 20 miles. That's not far, at all. I was scared for my life and I continue to be scared. For months after the attack, military was placed at the Lincoln Tunnel, the George Washington Bridge, and still, there are two military people in Penn Station. That I passed and smiled at EVERY TIME I go into NYC. I live somewhere where terrorists want to attack. I live somewhere that a nuclear bomb could hit, and I could be effected. It scared 12-year old me then and it scares me now more than ever.
In more sad news, two years ago today, I flew to England to start the best year of my life. I felt it was a pretty safe day to fly because lightning doesn't strike twice, and security would probably be more strict. I am such a different person now than I was then. and I absolutely love everyone who has walked into my life and made it better. Without you guys, I would not be who I am.
I love you all, my beautiful friends. You mean everything to me.
and I honestly mean that with all my heart and with all my soul.
Ten years ago today, I sat scared.
Ten years later, and I still remember everything. I remember hearing the news anchor yelling that the first tower was falling. I remember my teacher hiding her tears, because she feared for her son's life. I remember being scared that I may never see my father again.
But I did. No one I personally knew died that day. My sister's friend had a volleyball game and begged her dad to take off of work and watch. He lived. My cousin's uncle was away on a last-minute business trip, he lived. My teacher's son had time for a coffee, and so he lived.
To everyone who reads this blog and did not live in the tri-state area that day: you have no idea what it was like for us.
Many of my English friends/acquaintances asked me to re-live that day because they were curious. I cried every time I told my story.
My father took us to see the smoke that night. I could not believe. That smoke lasted for days, maybe even a few weeks, I can't remember anymore. I have only been to the area once, last summer. And I cried.
I have no idea how to convey how SCARED I was that day. That is what makes me cry. What continues to make me cry is the men and women who died, the children who will never meet their fathers, and the soldiers who are so brave to fight for my life and freedom.
One thing that PISSES ME OFF is that people who weren't here on that day, try to say they were equally effected. News flash: you weren't. You may have been scared for our nation, for the terrorism that was so real, but you don't know how it felt that day to worry about so many mother's and father's lives. I live very close to NYC. Commuter close. Many of my friends, including my father, commute into NYC on a daily basis. More than half of my classmates were worrying about their parents. Even if we knew they didn't work in those buildings, we didn't know where they were. Cell phones weren't that big in 2001. My father had one, but cell phones were not working that day.
So please, remember 9/11 for what it was and how it shaped not only our nation, but the world, remember those who died in the planes and in the towers, remember those who died trying to save lives, remember the soldiers who fought for us, remember the soldiers who found and killed Osama Bin Laden, remember the children who grew up without a father or mother, remember that everyone's experience of that day is different and yours is just as unique as mine. Don't exploit it.
And please, remember that this was MY city being attacked. I live 20 miles away from the World Trade Center site. 20 miles. That's not far, at all. I was scared for my life and I continue to be scared. For months after the attack, military was placed at the Lincoln Tunnel, the George Washington Bridge, and still, there are two military people in Penn Station. That I passed and smiled at EVERY TIME I go into NYC. I live somewhere where terrorists want to attack. I live somewhere that a nuclear bomb could hit, and I could be effected. It scared 12-year old me then and it scares me now more than ever.
In more sad news, two years ago today, I flew to England to start the best year of my life. I felt it was a pretty safe day to fly because lightning doesn't strike twice, and security would probably be more strict. I am such a different person now than I was then. and I absolutely love everyone who has walked into my life and made it better. Without you guys, I would not be who I am.
I love you all, my beautiful friends. You mean everything to me.
and I honestly mean that with all my heart and with all my soul.
Friday, July 15, 2011
People Piss Me Off
See title.
Know this about me.
DON'T PISS ME OFF.
Harry means the world to me. THE WORLD. With the release of every movie, trailer, book, what have you, people start to comment.
People start to comment on things they don't understand.
People start to comment on things they don't understand and REFUSE to understand.
Harry is world unlike any other. If you're not a part of it, you don't know what it's like to see this world ending. To those not part of it, it's just the end to another series. To us, it's the end of an era, the end of an epic journey, the end of what makes us who we are.
Who wants to hear that the core of their childhood is over? Who wants to hear that they'll be no new [COUGH POTTERMORE COUGH] content for us to ponder over, wait impatiently or debate about?
It's over.
What we're looking forward to now, is sharing it with our children, is hoping that they'll be week-long marathons at theatres to celebrate the anniversaries, is knowing that in our hearts, it will never die.
This isn't the end for me. IT ALL ENDS may be the tagline, but GUESS WHAT, BITCH [all caps. i'm screaming. I'M SCREAMING WB.]
IT WILL NEVER END.
Know this about me.
DON'T PISS ME OFF.
Harry means the world to me. THE WORLD. With the release of every movie, trailer, book, what have you, people start to comment.
People start to comment on things they don't understand.
People start to comment on things they don't understand and REFUSE to understand.
Harry is world unlike any other. If you're not a part of it, you don't know what it's like to see this world ending. To those not part of it, it's just the end to another series. To us, it's the end of an era, the end of an epic journey, the end of what makes us who we are.
Who wants to hear that the core of their childhood is over? Who wants to hear that they'll be no new [COUGH POTTERMORE COUGH] content for us to ponder over, wait impatiently or debate about?
It's over.
What we're looking forward to now, is sharing it with our children, is hoping that they'll be week-long marathons at theatres to celebrate the anniversaries, is knowing that in our hearts, it will never die.
This isn't the end for me. IT ALL ENDS may be the tagline, but GUESS WHAT, BITCH [all caps. i'm screaming. I'M SCREAMING WB.]
IT WILL NEVER END.
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