Friday, February 10, 2012

Today Should Have Been Our Anniversary: A Lesson on Heartache and Friendship

Best friends.

They come and go. If you're lucky, it will happen naturally. People grow and change and their friends change, too.

Sometimes, drama happens and you will get into a major fight and will lose your best friend.

I wish this on no one. Not only has this happened to me once, but multiple times in my life. NORMALLY, I would outline and detail them, but for now, I will just outline the year they occurred. 'Cause I'm classy like that.

1. November 2002. Eighth grade. Thought my friends were... my friends. They weren't.
2. Summer 2006. Summer before Senior year. People change.
3. December 2008. Sophomore year of undergrad. My friend thought she was my friend. She wasn't.
4. Summer 2010. Summer after Junior year of undergrad/England. I changed.
5. September 2011. Super Senior year of undergrad. They lied.
6. February 2012. Super Senior year of undergrad. I wish I knew - I don't even think he knows.

There is something about losing a best friend that... rips your heart apart. You're used to seeing them everyday, talking to them everyday, being supported by them and supporting them. When this person who is in your life at such a constant presence and then you lose them... it's heartbreaking. More heartbreaking than anything I have ever felt during an actual heartbreak.

I have love and lost. Twice.

Make that three.

Loving someone and then experiencing heartache is horrible. But it happens. And it makes you stronger. The first two instances molded me into who I am. They inspired great stories. They were both brilliant boys. The first was more brilliant than the second, actually. The second was kind of a jerk.

Never before have I loved my best friend. That was a new experienced for me. Or... love? The feeling is present tense [because you just can't stop loving someone overnight], but the friendship is not.

This loss is almost like death. It's hitting me that hard. And if you are ever to experience it, it will hit you hard, too.

I truly, truly believe that love is the greatest and most powerful emotion in the world.

And love, well, I got it.

Girls, [and guys], when heartache happens, no matter what form, remember who you are. Remember how you feel about that person and let it strengthen you, not hinder you. Don't have heart break, as much as it will feel like it. Keep your heart whole and your mind sane.

If your heart breaks, they win.

Don't let them win.

And don't forget to smile. =D

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