February 23, 2012: Made of Awesome

Everyone has good days and bad days, right? Right.

John and Hank and the other leaders of nerdfighteria have taught us that it is possible (and that we should) find the awesome in each and every day. Because every day that we are alive is awesome. Yet, some days are less awesome than other days. And some days are just truly made of awesome.

Last Thursday was truly made of awesome.

Now, I was expecting it to be a good day because I had a lunch date with a cute boy. But as each minute passed, it became more and more awesome.

I woke up at 8ish, planning to go to yoga at 9. Normally, I just SAY I'm going to do this and don't. Then, as I entered consciousness, I wanted to get up and go to yoga. I loved yoga. and I was paying $100 this month to go. I was going.

It is a miracle to get me up before 9. Not only was I up, my bed was made and I was dressed. I was off to yoga by 9:05 and had a great class! I held both tree pose sets and started to transition into the next step in the tree pose [which is folding over and sitting in it one-legged. I began to fold over]. Good class! Yay!

Now I knew I would only have an hour and a half to shower, change, blow dry my hair and do other random things (like put my dirty laundry in the basement). Somehow, I did all this and was still TEN MINUTES early. This never happens. Well, in those ten minutes I was waiting for Cute Boy to show up, I checked my phone.

I had a text from my long-term best friend who shares my book loving obsession among other obsessions. Well, she found out that JOHN GREEN was going to not only BE at BEA, but be speaking at the CHILDREN'S BREAKFAST WITH LOIS LOWRY.

Let the Happy Dancing begin!

I then hit my twitter app to tweet this. How could I not? I tweeted it and began to read some of the most recent tweets, once of which was Alex Carpenter saying he was going to be writing a song about JKR's new book.

WHAT? JKR? NEW BOOK?

WHAT?!

Now I'm freaking out. I confirm that yes, JKR is writing a new book, but it will be entirely different from the Harry Potter series. WHO THE HELL CARES. I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS SINCE 2007!

Hyperventalation begins.

On that note, Cute Boy pulls up to my house. Perfect. He's going to think I'm a freak.

Well, I calm down enough to go see him and we go out to lunch. Which was yummy. I am excluding all other details. Except that I smiled a lot for the rest of the day due to the event of lunch.

After lunch, we hung out a bit, but then Cute Boy went home to do work. Sadd. But still. I now had enough time to chill before work. So I watched Downton Abbey because John Green said so.

Oh, my life.

Then work was quiet, I was with a few favourite coworkers, I got to be in fitting room, which I love and got let out early. GOOD NIGHT.

Oh, and I got tacos for dinner. 'Nuff said.

Then I came home and watched more Downton Abbey and texted with Cute Boy and am now thoroughly obsessed with Downton Abbey.  I've been watching it all weekend. Amazingness. But who doubts John Green?

There are very few days that just leave me in a bundle of joy. It felt SO GOOD to just have a made-of-awesome day when I haven't had a made-of-awesome day since early December. And even before that, I can't remember when a day was so awesome from morning to sleep.


Today is made of awesome because I put french vanilla creamer in my earl grey tea and it was YUMMY.

Today Should Have Been Our Anniversary: A Lesson on Heartache and Friendship

Best friends.

They come and go. If you're lucky, it will happen naturally. People grow and change and their friends change, too.

Sometimes, drama happens and you will get into a major fight and will lose your best friend.

I wish this on no one. Not only has this happened to me once, but multiple times in my life. NORMALLY, I would outline and detail them, but for now, I will just outline the year they occurred. 'Cause I'm classy like that.


1. November 2002. Eighth grade. Thought my friends were... my friends. They weren't.
2. Summer 2006. Summer before Senior year. People change.
3. December 2008. Sophomore year of undergrad. My friend thought she was my friend. She wasn't.
4. Summer 2010. Summer after Junior year of undergrad/England. I changed.
5. September 2011. Super Senior year of undergrad. They lied.
6. February 2012. Super Senior year of undergrad. I wish I knew - I don't even think he knows.

There is something about losing a best friend that... rips your heart apart. You're used to seeing them everyday, talking to them everyday, being supported by them and supporting them. When this person who is in your life at such a constant presence and then you lose them... it's heartbreaking. More heartbreaking than anything I have ever felt during an actual heartbreak.

I have love and lost. Twice.

Make that three.

Loving someone and then experiencing heartache is horrible. But it happens. And it makes you stronger. The first two instances molded me into who I am. They inspired great stories. They were both brilliant boys. The first was more brilliant than the second, actually. The second was kind of a jerk.

Never before have I loved my best friend. That was a new experienced for me. Or... love? The feeling is present tense [because you just can't stop loving someone overnight], but the friendship is not.

This loss is almost like death. It's hitting me that hard. And if you are ever to experience it, it will hit you hard, too.

I truly, truly believe that love is the greatest and most powerful emotion in the world.

And love, well, I got it.

Girls, [and guys], when heartache happens, no matter what form, remember who you are. Remember how you feel about that person and let it strengthen you, not hinder you. Don't have heart break, as much as it will feel like it. Keep your heart whole and your mind sane.

If your heart breaks, they win.

Don't let them win.




And don't forget to smile. =D