Saturday, February 12, 2011

Dating 101: An Introduction

Alright, girls, listen up.

Class is in session.

About two weeks ago, I asked you guys on twitter if you wanted a Boy Advice blog, since...I don't know. I seem to just have The Knowledge.

So, Boy Advice 101.

My general advice for this post has to do with YOU, not him. YOU should be the most important thing in his world. If he wants you, he'll talk to you. If he wants you in his life, he'll make sure you are. Anything less is unacceptable. So if he puts something else before you, dump his ass. YOU are better than TV, friends, chores, homework, EVERYTHING. Except his mother. Respect that he has this weird bond with his mother. Girls usually have this with their father.

If you get to the point where you know his mother, make sure she thinks you're awesome. If she thinks your perfect for her son, she'll convince him to marry you. Swear down.


SO. QUESTIONS.

"Boy needs to file taxes. How do I convince him that mommy doing it for him is NOT cool and extremely unattractive?" - @KenzieAudacious

First of all, I know the situation here, and you two are going to get married within the next five years, so there's a lot of time and love invested into this situation. This can be used as leverage, but use it WISELY. "Boy, we are going to be getting married. *WE* will need to do taxes one day. Mom can NOT do it for you when you're married, but since this is the first time filing, it would be better for Mom to SHOW you the process and help you through it."

I will say the following phrase over and over again. MAN UP. While we call them our "boy," they really need to be a man and act like a man, especially if this is the boy you're going to spend the rest of your life with.

I'm also very big on honesty. Tell him you think it's lame. As your future husband, it's lame and unattractive.



"If a person, say, lived in rural Indiana, where would she find boys that aren't addicted to meth?" -THE LOVE OF MY LIFE. She knows who she is.

So, love of my life, since *I* do not live in rural Indiana, I do not know the answer to this question.

But I can still help you.

You, my gorgeous friend, work in a WONDERFUL place. A library. The best men come into libraries. Unfortunately, you are in an office all day, but it's a start. When you take your break, walk around. See if you can find an attractive man.

WHEN you see an attractive man, smile at him. Sweet, but mysterious. The NEXT time you see him, you say "hi." From here, if he's into you, he should take the reins. But NEVER stop saying "hi" when you see him. Get into his head.

Other than that, you need to BE MORE OPEN. Smile at guys. Say hi. You are gorgeous. You are the shit. Act like it, and they will automatically be into you.

STORY TIME:
Last St. Patrick's Day I went to the bar with SO many people. I met people there, I walked with people, it was a little crazy. At one point, I got separated from everyone. I was out on the padio just looking around a guy came up to me.

"You look lost." he said, in a sexy British accent

"I'm not lost, just don't know where my friends are." I said, in my American accent.

"You're a Yank?" He said, in surprise. I smiled at him.*

"Yes, I am. I'm from NYC." I said.

"Then I need to buy you a drink." he said. And BOOM. Drink bought for me.



Yes, the accent helped SO MUCH, but the really nice guys I met, liked me for WHO I was and not because I had an American accent. But the accent helps when you want someone to buy drinks for you. Also, the helpless act. or the Confidence act. The right guy will come into your life when you're ready to let him in. You have to be ready and open to love in order for love to find you.



FINAL QUESTION, since this post is kind of long already.

"what do you do when one of your ex boyfriends has one of your books and you never talk to them or see them anymore?"

Call his mother. Ask for them back from her. Have nothing to do with him.



Okay, that was fun. You can email me questions at kellelucas @ gmail.com OR @ reply me at @Kellelucas on twitter.

Till next time,
KEEP SMILING
=D





*Smiling. Key to EVERYTHING.

2 comments:

  1. Haha. I will admit, I really posted it to Twitter because I know D somewhat stalks my profile. He saw it, sighed, and declared that he'll be doing his own taxes.

    But, seriously, you're right. MAN UP.

    ReplyDelete