Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Spirit Day 2010 - Why I Support

Most of you probably don't know this, but I'm a gay rights activist. I wrote my senior thesis on gay marriage and actually went down to DC to talk to some politicians and the APA about it.

I was also bullied all throughout grammar, middle, and high school. It wasn't because I was gay, but because I was a little naive and a bit of a nerd.

One day in eighth grade, my best friends played a really mean joke on me.

From here, it all went downhill. I didn't want to be at school anymore. I didn't know who I could trust, and I had four friends and I didn't even know if they cared about me, or just took me back in because they pitied me [they did care about me. a lot.]

I ended up trusting a few girls online who "accidentally" im'ed me one day when they "messed up their friend's screen name." These girls ended up being my best friends in disguise to spy on me [to this day I don't know if it was because they really did care about me or if they just wanted to continue to make fun of me irl]. I told these girls how unhappy I was at my school and that I was considering killing myself.

I was very depressed and did consider suicide. It was a scary time and I hated feeling that way.

Well, one of the girls got so scared that she went to our guidance counselor and told her that I was suicidal. I was called down, interviewed, my parents were called - it was a big deal. When I found out who told, I wasn't touched. I was hurt more. She had decieved me again and I didn't want to be around her or anyone else anymore. I fell more into a depression and learned to keep my suicidal thoughts to myself.

Two months later, I started feeling better. I found RENT and Jonathan Larson's message made me believe that I was alive for a reason and I needed to find that reason.

I continued to be bullied, but I didn't let it effect me. I had started writing a lot to get out my feelings and I knew that I would be more successful than all of them one day. They peeked in high school - I was going to peek in real life.

Senior year, I really started to stand up for myself and those who couldn't speak out. I began participating in National Day of Silence and being pro-gay and a gay activist. At the end of senior year I discovered I was a nerdfighter and that I really was made of awesome and no one could tell me different. I had finally found a place where I belonged.

So it will get better. It did for me and it gets better everyday. Those feelings of lonelyness suck, but you just have to find something that makes you happy.

It will get better.

Today is awesome because I love wearing purple.
I'm listening to.... Life Support from RENT.


  1. Kelly --

    I hope you know that I am not a friend in disguise (by the way, did that happen to EVERYONE in HS because I had friends do that to me and several other people; and I will admit I did it once or twice, though usually to find out if some boy liked me or my best friend. A little less viscous.) and that I truly & legitimately care about you. You and the rest of the #WGCC girls make each day of my life a little brighter, and I only hope I can inspire the same light in your lives.

    But most importantly, thank you for sharing this story with me and the rest of the internet. We have all grown upset at being forced or coerced into staying silent about the issues we care about. So thank you, Kelly, for speaking loudly about this issue.

    And by the way, you are made of awesome.

  2. Kelly,

    I'm starting to wonder if everyone has had something evil like this happen during their high school years. I know I did. I had a girl orchestrate a widespread Hate-Laura movement, which involved nearly everyone in my tiny high school (100 kids in my graduating class). Why did she do it? She told me that she hated me because I was, "a prep"--and I didn't even know what that meant! It's wretched and miserable, and I'm sorry you had to go through it.

    Two things you should take from this comment:

    1. You are absolutely and totally my friend which means you are CARED ABOUT by me. Also, you are cared about by the rest of the WGCC. I know this.

    2. You are made of awesome. I know Bailey said it, but this is me seconding it.

  3. You two make my day so much brighter and I love that we met. My mother questions the people I meet on the interwebs and I know that they are so much better than the people I grew up with. I've always been outspoken about my depression, but never the whole story.

    I had a rough childhood, but I am having a epic time being in my 20s.