In early September of 1992, I attended school for the first time. For the next twenty years, I continued that tradition. Like the rest of you, I went from pre-school to Kindergarten to elementary school to middle school to high school to college.
Today, I did not go to school.
To be honest with you all, it didn't even phase me. I didn't cry, I didn't mope, I didn't do anything, actually. I wished my friends a happy first day of school, but it didn't dawn on me that I was missing it until an hour ago.
For the past month, I've been saying that I was going to freak out. But actually, it's a little bit of a relief. I've been in school for TWENTY YEARS. That's a long time. The next three years of my schooling is going to be harder than those twenty years combined, so I'm not freaking out. I'm pretty relaxed. I'm happy to have this year off. I need it. I need to chill and work and write and read and blog. I need this.
Okay, I'M FREAKING OUT.
I like buying books and notebooks and organizing and going to class and taking notes and learning and checking out the guys and making new friends and procrastinating on twitter and tumblr and getting work done for other classes in a class and snow days and cancelled classes and fun professors. I like those things. And with most of my friends experiencing them, I feel like I'm missing out.
*sigh*
At least I can put my procrastination skills into applying to grad school.
Take the time to relax. Because the time to apply to grad school rolls around quickly, and in the middle of winter & holiday insanity, and it'll feel more "school like" than before because now you're not in school. Applying to grad school in my year off was a very strange thing.
ReplyDeleteFor my friends who applied while still in school -- to continue straight away -- it was just another academic-related stress in an already packed academic schedule during the height of their academic focus. During a year off, it's the ONLY academic-related stress, and I felt so off my game, and then it was the only thing to focus on and fret about for six months (from when I took the GRE in October to my acceptances in March).
My point is this: live up the non-academic moments, live up the "stress free" life style. It's not exactly stress free, but it's a new & different kind of stress, which makes it a little more like an adventure and a little less like stress (or maybe that's just what I told myself for a year to cope).
I wish you the best times over the next year, and with new applications to grad school, and may I also add "try a new thing" to your agenda. (Note: not 1000 new things. Not every new thing you've ever wanted to try. Pick one and really stick to it now that you've got that illusion "time.")
xoxo,
B