I'm back....maybe

So a lot has gone in my life in the last THREE years that I haven't blogged.

1. I got into grad school.
2. I have made friends in my area!
3. I am STILL with the boy I discussed in my last blog post.

Graduate school is the number one reason I have not blogged.

That's a lie.

Graduate school is the number one reason why I have not had much of a life in the last two years. I spend so much of my time thinking about graduate school and I feel so sad that I didn't blog more. I would love to have journaled this time in my life when my life was more hectic.

Which leads me to a semi-announcement:

I have applied for MORE grad school.

I know. I'm crazy.

But hopefully, this will help me with a real career instead of just taking up so much of my time without any real purpose.

But if I'm lucky enough to get into another program, I *plan* on blogging that experience. I say plan, because I know how hectic grad school is. I originally wrote "will," but I can't make that kind of promise when I know I'll be so busy.

This is all just to tell you that I've missed blogging and I really want to do it more and share my life with my friends.

So I'm back.

Maybe.

We'll see how much I need to rant about my thesis.

3 Months... and Counting

Last week, my boyfriend and I hit three months of being together. 

The weekend marked four months since he first kissed me. 

I have only been with someone for three months once before E. And that relationship ended shortly ended after the three month mark. This is the longest I have ever been with the same person. 

Basically, I'm seriously heading into new territory. 

That first relationship, which lasted three and half months, was childish and high school. While I loved it, it was very frustrating to be with that person, even though I adored him and he cared for me greatly. He was my hero when I needed him and I am grateful for that. I may not be alive today without him in my life then. In the end, we were better friends and we still are friends. 

That was five and a half years ago. 

I've changed a lot since that relationship. I've grown up, experienced a lot of things and dated more people than I'd like to admit. 

Since that relationship, my love life was either non-existant, or I was dating, but no one wanted to settle into a relationship with me. 

Three years ago, I thought I found it - my person, "the one." He was the first person to date me who automatically accepted me for who I was. In fact, he loved that I was nerdy - and he told me this frequently. I was in new territory with him, and I loved every minute of it. Never before had someone adored me, cared for me, and protected me like he did. It was a perfect English boy/American girl romance. Unfortunately, leaving England was a deal breaker. We parted ways and... I wish we hadn't. To this day, he does not even talk to me. 

Late Summer of 2011, we did reconnect and picked up where we left off - 3,500 miles apart. Not only did we pick up, but we got deep, and fast. I thought, again, that I was going to spend the rest of my life with him. 

The first time we were together, it was only for six weeks. The second time was a little longer, two and a half months, but I just knew. He was still it for me. 

Then he broke my heart. 

He broke my heart so much that I stopped believing in love. I grew to accept that I was destined to be alone forever, and I was okay with that. 

I was okay with that for a while, but loneliness happens. 

Just as I was starting to get back into dating, I met my E. 

Basically, I'm one of the luckiest girls in the world. He's accepted me for who I am, fangirl, slightly insane person and all. 

Now that we've hit three months, we're getting into territory I've never hit before. My English boy and I skipped everything that I'm experiencing with E. I feel so lucky because he works WITH me on everything that happens in our relationship. I haven't just found someone to adore and care about, but I've found a partner. 

When I was getting lonely, I told my friends that I didn't just want a boyfriend, I wanted a companion. I've found this with E. I've found someone to watch TV with and go out to dinner with. I've found someone I can talk to about anything. He lives locally, which is something I've always had an issue with. My more serious dating ex's were always long distance. Again, new territory. I love that I get to see E twice a week. I love that I *could* see him every day if I wanted to. I love that I can [and do] text him whenever I want, about whatever I want. 

Not gonna lie, I love texting him the RANDOMEST things I can think of. And he's still with me. 

I swear, I'm borderline psycho, but he's gotta be borderline psycho as well to deal with me. 

He doesn't just deal with me, he's dealt with me, willingly, for the past FOUR months. 

I am seriously the luckiest girl in the world to have him. 

I'm excited [and let's face it, terrified] to experience the next chapter in our relationship. I know as we hit certain milestones, he'll be there for me, working with me to develop this relationship. I don't think I've ever been this happy in my life. 

It's truly an amazing thing to have a partner. Truly, truly amazing. 

The Office: How I Fell in Love with a TV Show

Eight years ago, I had a crush on the CUTEST guy in high school.

I found out his favorite show was The Office and couldn't believe it. This kid was super smart. How could he like a dumb show?

Then, in the fall of 2008, I left my TV on and The Office came on [I believe TBS, but how it was syndicated in 2008, I have no idea.] and I watched The Fire. I thought I'd see why he loved this show so much.

I could not believe how good it was. It was smart. It was funny.

Most importantly, it made me LAUGH. It is VERY rare to make laugh at a TV show. I have a unique sense of humor and most shows don't truly capture that. The Office does.

I remember sitting on the edge of my bed, falling in love with a TV show. I started watching The Office that night. And I haven't stopped watching.

Since falling in love with it, with Jim and Pam, with Michael Scott, with Andy, with the writing, with Thursdays at 9pm, it's been a HUGE part of my life. I bought the season DVDs. I watched them more times than I can count. I still watch them. I still laugh.

I'm still in love.

Falling in love is easy, it's staying in love that's the hard part. 

Tonight, at 9pm, I watched The Office live for the final time.

I was scared about Jim and Pam. I was happy to see Michael Scott. I laughed. I cried. I was genuinely happy for Andy for finding a dream job... then realizing that he just left his dream job.

The writing of The Office this season has been fantastic. They did SUCH an excellent job of wrapping up the season and their stories without forgetting the drama, the laughs or the love - or that Dwight should finally be the manager of Dunder Mifflin.

I could not have asked for a better series finale. So many of my shows get cancelled before they can actually shoot a series finale and I am quite grateful we knew the end of coming.

Before this season, I was ready to see it go. Season 8 was.. terrible. But they came back last fall knowing it was the end. I was like a kid on Christmas Eve every Thursday and I couldn't wait to wake up Friday morning and watch The Office. I fell in love with The Office all over again this season.

I love these characters. I love the stories. I love Michael and Pam and Jim and Dwight and everyone.

Tonight, Pam asked the Doc makers, "How did you do it? How did you capture it?"

I don't think they planned it. I don't think the BBC or Ricky Gervais planned for this American adaptation to explode and take on a life of it's own the way it did.

"The ordinary is beautiful." Pam says, about their doc. I agree Pam. You think it's about an office, an office that sells PAPER. But it's not about the office or the paper - it's about The People, ordinary people who have regular lives: affairs, lost love, drama, heartache, romance, marital problems, laughs, tears, ups, downs, deaths, weddings... it's life, capture by a camera.

Thank you, Ricky Gervais. Thank you, BBC. Thank you, Steve Carell. Thank you, NBC.

People Change.

That moment when one of your best friends gets a boyfriend/girlfriend and... doesn't tell you about it.

Why do people do that?

It seriously bothers me.

I can't even count how many times this has happened to me.

And it hurts me.

Seriously.

The ONE thing I made sure not to do when I got a boyfriend was disappear from my friend's lives.

I still make sure I do this, actually. Because I don't want to alienate them if I ever lose my amazing boyfriend.

Anyway, when my friends get a boyfriend/girlfriend, it hurts when they don't tell me.

It hurts even more when you used to be in love with that person and you're actually really happy that they found someone to be with.

People change.

People get a boyfriend/girlfriend and they become consumed with them so much that they, apparently, can't even send a text message.

That annoys me.

That hurts me.

People don't just change. People always leave.

I should really know this by now.

Writing Woes: Amateurs

Last fall, I worked. A lot. I was pulling 40 hour weeks for the first time in my life.

You know what I learned?

Being on your feet for 40 hours a week is REALLY tiring.

Basically, I slept between work. Constantly. I didn't have a life and I didn't write. I didn't apply for grad school. I didn't do anything I wanted to do.

Except paid bills. I liked those paychecks.

So I decided I needed to focus. And school was focusing.

I would take a writing class.

While I don't see it as a mistake, I don't think I should have taken a 200 level writing course at my community college.

These kids are amateurs.

So amateur that I only receive really good comments from my professor and one other guy in the class who is taking this as seriously as I am.

Point:
I really miss Bailey being my editor.

Dating 103: The First Date

Congratulations! You found someone who you like, you've smitten them, and now you two are going out together. 

First dates are one of the most nerve-wracking dates you will EVER go on. Really. This is one of the first times you two will spend together learning about each other. It's nerve-wracking; you're not 100% sure about the other person's feelings for you and you're not even sure about your feelings for them. 

Because of the nerves you will most likely feel, you need to make yourself as calm and comfortable as possible. 

Where to go? If they ask you where you want to go, tell them a restaurant you'll know you'll like, or an activity you enjoy. Again, you want to be as comfortable as possible.

What to wear? I’m going to become repetitive with this. Dress comfortably. Jeans and t-shirt. A dress you feel and look great in. Don’t overdress, but also don’t underdress. Don’t wear anything that shows too much skin (personally. There’s enough time for that). An old friend once told me that you should only accent ONE good part of your body on the first date. Meaning, wear a v-neck shirt to show some cleavage OR a short-ish skirt to show off some leg. Don’t do both. This date is about getting to know each other – NOT trying to get into each other pants. Theoretically.

What to talk about? Think about the things that make a person a person. What kind of music do they like? What kind of movies do they watch? What was the last book they read? What’s on their TBR list? Where do they work? What did they do at work today/this week? Ask them about their family, their friends. Ask them about where they’ve travelled to or where they would like to travel. AVOID hostile topics like politics and don’t pry if they say they have a bad relationship with their parents/siblings. Theoretically, the conversation should flow naturally, but think back to these types of questions if there’s a lull in conversation.

Just remember one thing when you go on your first date with someone: you are beautiful. You are amazing. And the right person will see that. You will click with the right person. This is why we date, to find the person we click with and enjoy spending time with.

First dates normally suck. I’m not kidding. I have had more bad first dates than good first dates. But every once in a while, you find someone who you can talk to and who you enjoy spending time with. Just remember that that person is out there, and that you will survive all the bad dates in the world.

ALSO. THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT: If you don’t actually know the person (blind date/met online), meet at the place you are having the first date. The getaway car is extremely important.

And don’t forget to keep smiling. =D

Inspiration Woes

I love to write. Really.

I love sitting at my computer and seeing my fingers dance along the keyboard as the words in my head appear on the screen.

Holy crap, that was poetic.

But really, though. It's magical when the ideas and stories you create in your head become real on a page. When you can read it and still see the stories in your head as you first imagined them.

Sometimes, the words don't always fall out as easily as I want.

Inspiration woes.

Normally, when this happens, I try to just carry on. Just keep typing until I see what I want or until I what I want just magically comes out of my head.

Sometimes, I go for a walk.

Actually, that never happens. Who goes for a walk?

Sometimes, I take a shower. That works.

Sometimes, I just don't write.

Sometimes, I tweet.

Or listen to Pandora.

Or play some stupid facebook game.

There is nothing so fulfilling as beating a hard level of Candy Crush Saga.


It's always good to distract yourself. Let the story brew in your head before you sit down to your paper or computer.



I can talk about finding inspiration for hours.

But I really should just write instead.